Of course, once I got home, I told others. I texted Pete: "[goal weight], bitch". And updated my Facebook status: "I have reached my goal!!!!!! I was 12 years old when I last weighed today's weight...if you knew me then, you have an idea of what I look like now, only with better hair, a better rack and much better attitude :)". Tracy and Char snapped a few pictures and I posted pics to accompany the status update (which you can see below). The comments and notes in Facebook and in real life from friends were truly amazing - tons of congratulations and so many kind, wonderful, nice and encouraging words.

And in one of those wonderful coincidences, I was headed to the Herb Farm that evening! Really, the most perfect way EVER for a foodie to celebrate something as momentous as reaching my goal weight after months of hard work. Yes, a few champagne glasses were clinked, truffles were savored and wine was enjoyed (never fear, I'll write more in another posting).

So, some numbers to share:

• Total weight lost: From my highest weight (in May), 48 pounds, and from the start of the program, 40 pounds.
• Time: I started 20/20 on July 8. I'll "officially" finish on Feb 1. Although, I'll never really finish.
• Size: I shrunk from a 16/XL to an 8/medium. Sometimes, I wear a small!
• Clothing Donations: 8 grocery bags have already been donated, five more are filled and need to be sorted, and I still have two drawers of clothes to sort, which will probably fill at least 1 or 2 more bags.
• Running: I shaved about 2 minutes off of my (comfortable) mile run time, going from about 11:30 to 9:30. I can't quite tell you how much my endurance has shot up, but at this point, a 6 mile run is very, very doable. When boot camp starts up again in April, I'm planning to run with the alphas and bravos (the faster running groups, versus the slower charlie group).

And some favorite quotes/moments along the way:

• "Schelley, you're in great shape. I can tell because you're not sweating enough." - Billy, my sports conditioning instructor. When class ended, I headed out for a 4 mile run.


• "I kept trying to tempt her. But she always refused. It didn't matter, I was going to take it away anyways." - The always encouraging Pete. But when I really needed the treat, he made sure I got some, and always, always let me take a drink of whatever he was drinking.


• "I miss the old Schelley, the one who drank." - many, many people


• "You are an athlete now." - Matt, my personal trainer


• "Schelley, you are pure muscle." - My Aunt Jan, while hiking behind me


• "Um, every time I see you, you shrink." - many, many people


• "You are an inspiration!" - many, many people. And if you know me, "inspiring" is not the adjective most likely to be used to describe me. But I'll go with it.

Now, the really, really hard part starts: maintain, maintain, maintain, or in other words, keep the weight off. The long-term statistics are scary. About half of 20/20 alum regain the weight. Does this number seem low? Actually, it's incredibly impressive - 95% of Weight Watchers/Diet Center/insert name of weight loss program participants regain the weight. The road to reach my goal weight has been tough...the road to maintain it is even tougher. The good news is that the longer I maintain my weight, the easier it gets. And by "longer", I mean years.

I have put plans in place. I'll work out with my trainer weekly. Sports Conditioning in the winter and Boot Camp in the summer are a fundamental part of my life, and luckily, 11 years of making it to the gym multiple times a week means that any sort of slacking with exercise will be difficult. I'll continue checking in with my nutritionist quarterly. I have monthly check-in questions for myself. I'm planning to do some half marathon/marathons, and know that if I want to continue running and pushing myself, I can't gain the weight. Plus, most of the size 16 clothes are gone. If I gain, I have nothing to wear, and replacing an entire wardrobe is not cheap.

By the way, I know a few of you are curious about my numbers and would perhaps like to see a few pictures. All will be published when I reach my goal, which hopefully, will be before Christmas. A gift from the Christmas gods, I believe.

• The Food Part Was Better Than I Imagined. Ok, well, the first few weeks of protein and berries were tough, but once real foods, like vegetables and dairy and fruits and grains were integrated back into my diet, managing to eat well and deliciously was much easier than I had ever imagined. I didn't feel like I was sacrificing, rather, I was making better choices.
• The Mental Part was Harder Than I Ever Imagined. It turns out that integrating the mental - through group and individual therapy - into 20/20 is a brilliant idea. While figuring out why I gained weight and my food/alcohol triggers, the coping mechanisms and having the mental support from a group going through the exact same thing as you, is all good, remaking yourself physically also brings up a number of emotions and feelings, some good, some bad, all needing to be processed and understood. I now understand why Jillian asks those tough questions when she's beating the shit out of the Biggest Losers - the mental has been the most important part. Which brings me to...
• The Support Network. My friends rock. Despite the fact that Pete consistently tried to tempt me along the way, everyone has been a huge rock of support. Compliments, always letting me have a sip, not making fun of my food, asking questions and listening to me talk about changes and frustrations and happiness and always, always providing encouragement. Beyond my core group, colleagues at the Big M, a few of whom have done 20/20, almost all of whom know someone who has done the program, have been fabulously supportive. Plus, the support from the 20/20 people, particularly my dietician and my trainer, has been amazing. No one judges.
• Sacrifices. I'm not going to lie - I have sacrificed a lot while doing 20/20. I've said no to social events, especially those involving food, just because it would have been too awkward. And when everyone around you is drinking and you're not, well, sometimes it's just sad and weird (although, watching others get drunk around me has its benefits). Has it been worth it? The jury is still fully out, but considering that I'm now running faster and stronger, and feeling so much healthier, and oh by the way, wearing sizes I never thought possible, well, you know which camp I'm leaning towards.
• Too Much Exercise = No Loss. Yeah, totally crazy, but for some people, over exercising inhibits weight loss. I was doing great until I started training for the half marathon, and then the weight loss window practically slammed shut. On the other hand, I lost an almost insanely high number of inches during that same period, so obviously, something was happening. Best compliment ever: my trainer told me that I wasn't sweating enough and had become an athlete. Second best compliment: A friend squeezed my thigh, and said "wow. You are all muscle. Wow."
• Peanut Butter is Delicious. My diet requires a daily tablespoon of peanut butter, which could be considered the best part of my day. It's been a long, long time since I've enjoyed peanut butter (I think I overdosed on PB&J in college), and I have to say, peanut butter is wonderful. It feels decadent, triggering my sweet and salty taste buds, tasting fatty and creamy against my tongue. It's a secret indulgence.
• Weight Loss is Expensive. I've dropped several sizes, which means that I am buying a brand new wardrobe. I tried my best not to buy too many "in between clothes", but at a certain point, I needed stuff that fit. For some reason, I naively thought that I could continue wearing all of my old clothes and then buy new ones at the end, proving that I'm not always the brightest. I've now bought the exact same pair of Gap jeans in three different sizes. Not that I'm complaining or anything, because really, it's shopping, but wow, it's expensive. If you're looking to buy me a gift, I think you know what would make me really happy.
• Shopping is Now Fun. I've never been a big fan of shopping, mainly because as a size 16, well, my choices were a bit limited. Now, I kind of enjoy shopping. Everything fits, I'm exploring new styles and wearing clothing that I would never have worn six months ago, an unexpected and very pleasant result.
• I Miss the Insulation, and the Twins. I've been making fun of friends who wear scarves inside for years, once saying, "I'm slightly suspicious of people who wear scarves indoors". Now I get it. Before, I didn't need to wear a scarf inside, because, well, I had a layer of natural insulation. Now, that layer is gone...and as winter has set in in Seattle, I've gotten really cold. And the twins...Carrie summed it up best for me a few weeks ago when she said, "Schelley, I love the way you look. But these," waving her hands in the direction of my chest, "I miss these!" So sad. And then she forced me to try on a sexy black dress. Hmmm...
• Croissants & Cupcakes: Periodically, I'll crave random foods, something that usually goes away after a few days. But there have been two consistent cravings: croissants and cupcakes. I think the croissant is somewhat out of habit - every few weeks, I'd treat myself to a croissant at either Fuel or Vivace with my morning coffee. A high quality croissant is really a delightful day to start the day. Now, I try not to gaze longingly at the croissant case, but it's hard not to think about the deliciousness of this French pastry. I'm more puzzled by the cupcake cravings. While longtime readers of this blog know that I am enamored with cupcakes, it's not like I ate a cupcake a day, or even weekly or monthly. But still, I think about cupcakes. Oh snap.
• Alcohol is Essential. I've already written about this, but let me once again repeat - I really miss wine. I am looking forward to bringing it back to my life, in a much more measured way, of course.
• I Didn't Know a Lot About Nutrition. I thought that I was a healthy eater and did a solid job of cooking healthy, and compared to a lot of other people, that's a true statement. And then I joined 20/20...and learned enough to know that I knew far less than I thought. Nutrition is complicated - I meal track, not just looking at calories, but trying to consume the correct ratios of protein, carbs and (healthy) fats. It's a moving target, depending on my exercise for the day or plans for the next day. And completely fascinating.
• Most of Us Are Not as Healthy as We Think. Enough said.
]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.290 2009-12-12T22:15:35Z 2009-12-13T17:01:10Z
In terms of perfect days, Thanksgiving weekend Sunday ranks as one of my favorite Sundays of 2009. I got up early, ran a half marathon, brunched at Venus and watched the marathoners, and then spent the rest of the day...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org In terms of perfect days, Thanksgiving weekend Sunday ranks as one of my favorite Sundays of 2009. I got up early, ran a half marathon, brunched at Venus and watched the marathoners, and then spent the rest of the day on the couch, watching football, reading magazines and some phone chit chat. Check, check, check with some of my favorite things.

Ok, so perhaps I'm being a bit flip. I ran a half marathon, an activity not to be taken so lightly. 13.1 miles through downtown Seattle, part of the I-90 tunnel, along Lake Washington, through the Arboretum, along the backside of Capitol Hill and eventually winding my way back to the Seattle Center. In a self-congratulatory giant pat on my back, I did good. I had a strong run, pushing myself enough to keep going, but not so hard to have the "oh my, I'm going to die right now" feeling. My ultimate goal was to finish, and not be one of those poor souls we saw collapsed on the side of the street. Check. My second goal, finish with a time of 2:30. I beat that, with a time of 2:20:45.

I was also helped tremendously by running with boot camp friend Paula; I "pulled" her up the hills and she pushed me on the flat parts. Neither of us could stop...so we kept on going.

While brunching at Venus and admiring the marathoners passing out front, the waitress asked if I was "thinking about running the marathon?" "Definitely," I replied. "I ran the half this morning!"

Really, a perfect Sunday in my book.

]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.289 2009-11-26T00:23:21Z 2009-11-26T00:29:06Z
I've been nearly off the wagon since July, an astoundingly long period of time considering a lifetime of love for the wine, beer and hard liquor. I knew that when I started 20/20, I would need to give up alcohol,...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org I've been nearly off the wagon since July, an astoundingly long period of time considering a lifetime of love for the wine, beer and hard liquor.

I knew that when I started 20/20, I would need to give up alcohol, at least for the short term. I somehow thought that I could work it in at some point, but it turns out that when you're watching your calories and your protein/carb/fat ratios and your time is being spent doing the 20/20 stuff and you're exercising 6 days a week, well, there isn't much room or energy for alcohol. A sad state, considering the wonder associated with those empty calories.

That's not to say I've been completely dry - I've had a few drinks along the way. A glass of champagne at Carrie's in July to celebrate her new job. A glass and a half of wine and a half of glass of champagne at Richard and Melissa's wedding. A glass of wine after Hump. A half of chocolate martini at Pete's house. A glass of wine in the middle of a stressful research project. Most recently, last weekend, two glasses at dinner with Nilay and two glasses the next day at the Big Game party. Oh, and a few sips of others' drinks along the way. Needless to say, I've turned into a big ol' lightweight. Two glasses and I am d-r-u-n-k. Seriously, did any of you ever expect that?

I didn't really miss alcohol in the beginning. My meals were weird, I was adjusting to the diet and the lifestyle, and I was just fine. And since starting, with about two exceptions, I've never really missed beer or hard alcohol, even my beloved Sierra Nevada or greyhounds. (This points to some changing dietary tastes, another topic).

But wine...oh, I've missed wine, my friend. This desire for a glass of wine kicked in once my meals seemed to be a bit closer to what I considered "normal", when I really felt like I was in control of my food choices to a greater extent. And wine is almost always complimentary to a great meal - the right glass of wine brings out the best in food. There have been more than a few meals when I've thought "wow, this is fabulous. If only I had a glass of wine to go with".

Despite this, I've been ok with life sans wine. But there have been periods when I've swung to the opposite end, when I've been angry that I "couldn't" have a glass of wine. A very stressful October just pushed me into a zone...I desperately wanted wine, viewing it as one of the only stress relievers I had left to pull in my life. Regardless, with one exception, I still chose not to drink, which considering my history, is a huge change (note that I did not say that I "resisted", rather "chose". Think about that).

As I've learned about food and its relationship to my body, I've figured out that alcohol has had two major, interrelated impacts. First, the empty calories do count for something (as hard as it is to acknowledge that alcohol is calories)...and drinking never helps anyone's weight. From a scientific level, I also figured out that once alcohol carbs hit my system, it caused a chemical reaction that well, created a desire for more alcohol and (ironically) more food. So having a late afternoon beer, and then a pre-dinner glass of wine kicked off a chain reaction of more wine with dinner and overeating. Second, alcohol functions as a depressant, and in my system, it almost always creates feelings of exuberance and happiness. If I'm bored or lonely or happy or sad, alcohol almost always makes me feel better, happier. I've almost always been a happy drunk, and really, alcohol helped me avoid some of my problems. Both - the calories/chemical reaction and positive stimulant - worked together quite nicely to maintain my BMI at an "obese" level.

So it's not surprising that I've been addressing a few issues with my therapist.

Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to reaching my goal and completing 20/20. I have figured out how to bring wine (and others) back into my diet and my life in a much saner, reasonable way. It's an important part of my life that regardless of all that has happened and that I've learned, I'm just not ready to give up. After all, the great muse Homer Simpson once said "Here's to alcohol, the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems". Sage words, indeed.

]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.288 2009-11-02T15:52:50Z 2009-11-02T15:54:02Z
The changes have been dramatic, or at least, that's what others tell me. Really, most of the time I have a hard time seeing a difference. But there are moments when suddenly, clearly, I am acutely aware that something is...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org The changes have been dramatic, or at least, that's what others tell me. Really, most of the time I have a hard time seeing a difference. But there are moments when suddenly, clearly, I am acutely aware that something is different. I've caught glimpses of myself in a mirror when I'm surrounded by people, and will pause and think "wait, I'm which one?" Sometimes, I feel as if my body occupies a different dimension and space. Chairs that I regularly sit in - like my office chair or the standard conference room chairs - have begun to fit different. The aisles of an airplane are a bit wider, the seats a bit roomier, but still, just as uncomfortable.

Mostly, I am now acutely aware of my bones, not in the "time for the chiropractor" way, but in how they seem to poke out in places that I never expected. About 2 ½ months ago, while taking a shower, I was surprised to feel my front ribs. A few weeks later, while talking to Hilary in her office, I reached around to scratch my back and exclaimed "oh my goodness, I feel back ribs!" My hip bones are pokey. My collar bones stand out. And my spine seems to float dangerously close to my skin.

Will my bones miss the comfortable layer of protection? More importantly, can any of these pokey bones be used as a weapon?

]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.287 2009-10-12T04:35:41Z 2009-10-12T03:39:55Z
That, my friends, is a beautiful piece of romanesco broccoli from the Capitol Hill Farmer's Market. I'm a big fan of the Farmer's Market, and try to do a sweep every Sunday. Not only is the food delicious...but well, I...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org That, my friends, is a beautiful piece of romanesco broccoli from the Capitol Hill Farmer's Market. I'm a big fan of the Farmer's Market, and try to do a sweep every Sunday. Not only is the food delicious...but well, I have a healthy lifestyle to maintain.



In terms of "diets", the 20/20 program actually hasn't been that bad. In fact, as I've progressed, I've learned to make adjustments to my cooking style, using old recipes and finding new ones. We all know just how picky I am with food - it's all about quality ingredients and what tastes good - and I've succeeded in maintaining my standards. I've learned a ton about nutrition and how to cook food that is healthier. It's not that my cooking wasn't unhealthy to begin with, but I needed to make small changes, moving the dial about 20 degrees. (Although it's fair to point out that if I cooked as healthy as I thought, I wouldn't be doing 20/20).

I fully admit, food wise, the first few weeks on the program were rough. I cried regularly, had to work at home a few days just because I couldn't bear to face seeing anyone else. I also had to decline a few invitations to foodie events. The food situation was just not optimal. An elimination diet, I spent a week eating large amounts of protein and berries. Theoretically, I was also supposed to drink special protein shakes with every meal, but alas, I was part of the small percentage that got violently ill from the protein shakes, so my life was all protein, all berries. I won't go into some of the gruesome details, and while I was satiated and did drop a significant amount, I don't ever want to repeat this part of the diet. My energy levels were low, I almost passed out at the gym and my hands were tingly. And the hardest part: walking through the farmer's market, seeing all of the beautiful produce and just being sad. So sad.

One week in, most vegetables came back in (starchy vegetables, like winter squash, corn and potatoes, weren't allowed until recently). That was a happy, happy day.

In subsequent weeks, other things have been added: dairy (non-fat Greek yogurt rocks, pineapple and cottage cheese is a treat, and the quality of the non-fat/low-fat cheeses has improved substantially since I worked in the deli in the early 1990s); fruit; legumes (mmmm, hummus!); grains (of the whole variety, like steel-cut oats, whole wheat couscous, quinoa, brown rice); and most recently, bread (whole wheat, of course, and here's to Dave's bread, which I loved even before I discovered that it's good for you). At this stage, I'm really only missing chocolate and wine (you know which one I miss the most of the two).

As each food has been added, I've had to figure out how it makes me feel. Luckily, nothing has made me sick. And I've discovered a few things. Dairy makes me hungry, thus explaining how I can't stop myself once I've started snacking on cheese. So, if I do yogurt for breakfast, I need to add some form of protein. And speaking of protein, I've found that eating protein in the morning helps curb hunger throughout the day. I eat a lot of egg whites. The jury is still out on bread - I have a feeling that it may be a trigger food, i.e., something that inhibits weight loss.

I cook a ton, I plan ahead: it's a constant balancing act. I need to maintain a set number of calories, and that requires making some big choices each day, ensuring that I get the proper balance of protein, carbs and fat (which, I've learned, should be a balance for each meal). So for example, if I want to treat myself to t-bone steak for dinner (allowed), I need to keep my calories down at lunch and breakfast. If I make a sandwich for lunch (bread is pretty high caloric), I consume fewer calories for breakfast and dinner. I can either have grains or legumes, so if I eat oatmeal for breakfast, no snacking on hummus with my carrots when I make dinner. I meal track (hurrah for iPhone apps, LoseIt is pretty good), not only looking at calories, but trying my best to maintain the correct protein to carbs to fat ratios.

And I experiment. Some meals have been downright boring - turkey cutlets are just uninspiring. And I've done my best to avoid the ultra-boring chicken breasts, an amazing feat. I've also begun to tinker with recipes, making adjustments to cut the fat, substituting ingredients. There's a ton of play with many recipes, and it's fun to experiment. And the farmer's market: I've always been willing to try new stuff, and this new lifestyle has pushed me to try even more. It's fun...and delicious.

That romanesco? I steamed with some chicken broth, then served with a reduced balsamic vinegar. Fabulous!

And for show, a few other dishes that I've recently feasted on.

First up, Lebanese Style Stuffed Eggplant, courtesy Smitten Kitchen. My adjustments: left out the pine nuts, used about one tablespoon of olive oil to saute the onions and substituted bison for ground lamb and brown basmati rice for the jasmine rice. So delicious, and happily still snacking on leftovers. Oh, and speaking of bison, I've discovered that it's a pretty tasty meat.



Next, roasted turkey breast (deboned, brined and then grilled), baked squash, beets and black quinoa (there's also red quinoa, and the very traditional and much more available white varietal). Another delicious meal, with enough leftovers for turkey sandwiches and dinners.



And finally, another one of my farmer's market favorites: purple carrots. Sweet, crunchy, they taste just like carrots should taste.



]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.286 2009-09-25T02:38:47Z 2009-09-25T01:38:30Z
Hello. I've been gone for a while. So here's my "excuse": I joined the 20/20 program to well, get my body and mind in order. Or in other words, the Biggest Loser club, only without the TV cameras, Bob and...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org Hello. I've been gone for a while. So here's my "excuse": I joined the 20/20 program to well, get my body and mind in order. Or in other words, the Biggest Loser club, only without the TV cameras, Bob and Jillian and the insane competition.

Why? Well, a few weeks into boot camp this spring, I had an epiphany: I wasn't going to run faster carrying around extra weight. My endurance was so-so, and I really wanted it to increase. As I thought about this a little longer, I realized that despite leading a fairly active lifestyle, with the whole running and gym thing and living in a neighborhood where I walked everywhere and trying to be a healthy eater and avoiding processed foods, I was still "fat". Clinically, according to the handy-dandy BMI chart, I was obese. Kind of an odd contradiction, as I always thought of the obese as spending quality time on the couch, eating copious amounts of McDonald's, cheetos and freetos, not waking up in time for 6AM grueling trail runs. But still, the numbers don't lie.

And then I started to think about other things, like how I'm enrolled in the privileged cancer club. Genetics has already put me at risk for the breast (horror!) and colon type; fat around your middle gives you a VIP club entry. Thanks to free screening at work, I discovered that my bad cholesteral was high (and oddly, the good cholesteral normal. whatever). And, since I'm now 36 and officially an "older mother" candidate, it goes without saying that the debate about whether or not to reproduce has begun, and from what I can tell, a healthy body from the start is a good thing. And then I realized that despite all of my best intentioned efforts over the years to reduce, I had always, always hit a wall and just couldn't move past it on my own.

Since starting at the Big M, I'd heard about a program at my gym, called 20/20 Lifestyles. I didn't really know much about the details, asked around, and word on the street said 20/20 was a good thing. I even heard things like "exceptional" and "life transforming" and "if you do it, you won't regret it." People, considering that this comes from colleagues, all of whom are required to be type A and highly critical to work here, well, praise like that can not be ignored.

I made a decision to enroll, and over the span of three weeks, got doctors permissions, approval from my insurance company, and booked a bunch of appointments for things like blood work and health and fitness assessments and more doctors appointments. Oh, and I boozed it up and said farewell to a few foods.

On July 8, I officially started the 20/20 program.

You're probably wondering what this really means, right? Well, first, the basic facts of my 20/20 life. I work with a trainer three times a week and promise "cross my heart" to work out on my own twice a week (hello, boot camp!) I track my meals, I meet with a nutritionist once a week. I attend individual therapy sessions and am working my way through 10 group therapy sessions. At the end of 16 weeks - approximately the beginning of November, give or take, I begin 12 weeks of maintenance, with personal training twice a week, complemented by my own workouts three times a week, a nutritionist appointment every other week, and more individual therapy. Plus, there's the time spent cooking and organizing for the next day or the next week.

This is serious stuff: I signed a contract, I wrote a check, my insurance company wrote an even bigger check, I agreed that I would dedicate 10-15 hours per week to the program, which in reality has expanded to 15-20 hours per week. Basically, I'm participating with all of my heart and soul.

So what about the results? All goodness, to report. First, my running speed is up, not a huge amount, but enough to make a difference. But my running endurance, wow, has zoomed up - very little walking, and runs that seemed to take forever now just zip along. Poundage has been lost. New clothes in smaller sizes are being acquired. It is all downhill from here. Or really, down poundage.

Oh, and my BMI? Now, I'm just "overweight".

I had big plans to blog about my experience, and started a journal. But a week and a half in, I just couldn't write. I was depressed and it just seemed, well, not fun or interesting. And then, for a long time, I just couldn't bring myself to write in this blog. Not that the food part is bad - the flexibility is amazing and I've made some tasty stuff - but what could I say? So I've been silent for a while. Plus, I've just been wiped - it's a lot of stuff going on at once, but that's for another entry. Which there will be more of - thought pieces, touching on topics like the food situation, life sans alcohol and the emotional stuff.

So now you know all about my excuse. It's my 20/20 life.

]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.283 2009-07-19T22:39:10Z 2009-07-20T00:07:36Z
Note: This was supposed to be published two weeks ago, but when I thought I clicked publish, it was actually unpublished. I haven't published much over the past few months. It's not because I haven't been cooking and eating and...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org Note: This was supposed to be published two weeks ago, but when I thought I clicked publish, it was actually unpublished.

I haven't published much over the past few months. It's not because I haven't been cooking and eating and drinking really delicious wine, but really, all of the other things called life that get in the way.

Boot camp started in April, I found out that the fun and challenging sports conditioning class that substituted for Boot Camp over the long, long winter was now available on Fridays, meaning three 6AM gym times each week. I started playing ultimate frisbee once a week at the beginning of June. The sun came out, which meant more running outside. Plus I still try to do my "regular" workouts (40 minutes on the elliptical seems like such a low stress workout now). All of this means that exercise time has increased a bunch. And on top of that, work became much, much busier, but that's good. And if you were wondering, I have survived the recent well-publicized cuts that Bill's empire doled out.

Oh, and let me repeat: the sun has come out. I can't even explain how that has changed everything about Seattle. Life is so much better with a daily dose of sun, limited layers and almost zero threat of snow.

And finally, I just wasn't feeling motivated. This blog is created with software that is painful to use and has caused me more than a few grey hairs. I thought that upgrading to the newest version would mean "easier" to use and make changes, but alas, that has not happened. I manage to get pictures posted, but, it's a multi-step process that I find ridiculous and stupid. I really, really would like to add a list of "blogs that I read and recommend", but despite hours spend reviewing the instructions written by and for engineers, obviously, haven't figured it out. I'd like add some of the cool templates as backgrounds, but for some reason, clicking "add template" does not actually and automatically add the template. I recently attended a Seattle Food Bloggers meet-up, and found myself getting emotional about how hard I thought Moveable Type was to use as a blogging tool and how the dread associated with using the tool made me less than motivated to write. I may have cried later that evening.

So I'm at odds about whether or not to keep this blog. I may move musings.schelley.org to a different blogging service (fellow bloggers mentioned that Wordpress was much easier, and a colleague loves posterous.com, and no worries, the address will stay the same and should be transparent to all of you). I may take a long break and put this blog on hiatus. I'm also working on another idea, which could shape up into a new blog. Never fear, this would still be food related, but albeit, from a much different angle than what I've had with this one.

I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, if you have any strong thoughts about this blog - should I keep it? Should I go elsewhere? Should I do something different? - please ping me.

]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.284 2009-06-28T23:51:46Z 2009-06-29T00:08:40Z
Proper cake decoration has always vexed me. Nothing seems to pipe correctly, and my attempts have always resulted in angrily smearing the piped decorations into oblivion, always ending up with a simple, straightforward frosting job. Paul assured me that he...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org Proper cake decoration has always vexed me. Nothing seems to pipe correctly, and my attempts have always resulted in angrily smearing the piped decorations into oblivion, always ending up with a simple, straightforward frosting job.

Paul assured me that he could teach me to decorate a cake, so on a Saturday afternoon, he came over, cake decorating tools in hand.

The final results:



And of course, a slice of the cake:



I made my favorite chocolate cake, the sour cream chocolate cake from Sky High, filling it with white chocolate mousse. We made a massive batch of swiss buttercream frosting, which is absolutely perfect for all things frosting. I may be making cupcakes for a work-related celebration later this month, and am excited because of the chance to practice piping!

A few lessons learned: piping isn't as hard as I've made it out to be; using the tools properly help; a mid-afternoon martini never hurts when it comes to cake decorating; and sparkling always goes well with the finished product (in this case, Delmas Blanquette de Limoux Languedoc).

Thank you, Paul! I can not wait to visit you in Miami and check out those beaches...



]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.282 2009-06-28T22:17:22Z 2009-06-29T00:37:08Z
After a several month long absence, the Capitol Hill Farmer's market finally opened in early May. And the people of Cap Hill were happy, because not only were our favorite and beloved vendors back, but the market was even bigger...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org After a several month long absence, the Capitol Hill Farmer's market finally opened in early May. And the people of Cap Hill were happy, because not only were our favorite and beloved vendors back, but the market was even bigger and better with new vendors. And, it would last longer, through December 20, meaning that Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners could be composed from market ingredients.

My favorite returnees: the farm with the amazing selection of peppers (no peppers yet, but asparagus for the first month, amazing spring onions and now, fava beans and squash blossoms, among all of their bounty); the pretzel guy; the salmon guys; the honey guy; the chicken egg lady; the beef guys; Tiny's Organic product; Half Pint, delicious ice cream; and the little farm with the great vegetables that I'm not always sure what to do with, but they sample everything and always have a preparation idea. Among my favorite additions: another cheese stand (that now makes two, sometimes three!); the Green grilling guys, who grill burgers, which look delicious, but I've been all about the fried egg and bacon sandwiches; more prepared foods; the crepe stand; and the fresh from the sea couple with fresh oysters and clams. Uh-huh. Yes. Deliciousness to be had just a few blocks from my house, every Sunday from 11-3.

Probably not to your surprise, I've been buying and cooking from the market. My obsessions this year: pea vine greens, fava beans and now, squash blossoms.

Luckily for you, I've been taking pictures along the way!

First up, clam linguine with fresh herbs, a recipe courtesy of the Herb Farm cookbook, and clams, linguine and some of the herbs from the market. I think it had a bit too much parsley, but I also added a liberal amount of tarragon, chervil and basil, which was a good addition.



Next, one of a series involving pea vine leaves. I can't describe just how delicious these are, a simple green that is lighter than spinach, a bit less harsh than lamb's quarter, and despite a by-product of the pea, not tasting like peas. I found that simply sauteeing with some olive oil, perhaps some salt and pepper, or truffle salt, the pea vines were delicious. As an aside, Joe Bar, my go to coffee shop and crepery, featured a crepe with pea vines and chevre. I could not resist, twice, and after commenting about the delicious pea vine crepe on Facebook, discovered through a few friends that pea vines are actually a traditional Chinese food. That lead to one of my favorite dim sum experiences ever at Jade Garden in the International District, with not only all of my dim sum favorites, but a heaping big plate of pea vine leaves. Yes.

Picture #1: pea vines sauteed with olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper and dressed with seared scallops and a tarragon buerre blanc sauce. I drank a very tasty Domaine Pellehaut Chardonnay Gascogne from France along with. This was one of about four different treatments involving scallops, because I really love scallops.



Picture #2: pea vines, sauteed with olive oil, truffle salt and spring onions, and with glazed, grilled salmon.



Picture #3: pea vines, sauteed with olive oil, truffle salt and with grilled salmon.



I was eating other things besides pea vines and [insert name of fish/shellfish]. Fava beans! Here they are, in a spring vegetable ragout. Which, by the way, was insanely delicious. Spring peas, fava beans, artichokes (the fresh were too big, so I substituted canned), spring onions and pancetta, with mint and garlic tops for additional flavor, as if the other ingredients weren't enough. A very bright and tasty rose, Charles and Charles, from Washington's Columbia Valley went extremely well with this dish. The rose, a varietal that is all about spring, with bright, fresh notes that taste like sun, was well, more than perfect with the ragout.



More fava beans, this time with pancetta, garlic tops and mint, and seared shrimp. I would have grilled the shrimp, but I had run out of gas for the grill. Sacrifices, I tell you. And, a bottle of Gavi, Picollo Ernesto from Piedmont was just perfect with this dish.



There market also hosts a few vendors that sell beef, lamb and goat. It's not cheap, but good stuff, a la, the kind of meat that I probably ate when my parents would buy a side of beef when I was a kid, before agribusiness really started their evil practices. Ahem. "Dirty" skirt steak and bok choy. Funny story about the marinade: the night before, my upstairs neighbor and I joked about borrowing random stuff, such as a a cup of rum. The next day, I actually needed a tablespoon of rum to finish the marinade. Good timing!

The steak was delicious - the marinade added a nice salty goodness that was balanced by the warm flavor of the rum.



I won't even mention the delicious cherry varietals that are hitting the market, because I would not want to make you jealous. But I will leave you with one final picture: strawberries. These were the first of the season. They looked small, the baskets weren't completely filled and I wondered if they were worth the price.

One of Tiny's guys looked at me, and said, "yeah, they don't look like much, but trust me, they are amazing. I can guarantee you, they are delicious and you'll come back and want to buy a flat. We don't have a lot, we aren't even sampling." I pondered this, especially the lack of samples, because Tiny's thrives on samples. They never sell anything they won't sample...unless there's a reason. It turned out that there was a reason. I bought, promising to be back if they weren't worth the price. "Oh don't worry," he said, "you'll be back for more".

The strawberries were amazing. While they may have looked tiny and anemic, and been priced more than what I could have bought at QFC across the street, they packed a punch that I just wasn't expecting. Deep red flesh, full of juice, bursting with strawberry sweetness.



]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.281 2009-05-05T02:37:03Z 2009-05-05T02:43:07Z
First with the good. Molly Moon's opened up a location in Capitol Hill. Between Molly's excellent ice cream, the ice cream lady (Half Pint) at the farmer's market, and my own ice cream making experiments, I can only think, thank...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org First with the good.

Molly Moon's opened up a location in Capitol Hill. Between Molly's excellent ice cream, the ice cream lady (Half Pint) at the farmer's market, and my own ice cream making experiments, I can only think, thank goodness boot camp and long runs started up.

And, it looks like a real cheese shop may be opening in Capitol Hill. The rumored location is about a 15 minute walk from my house, near Quinn's, the taqueria, Molly Moon's, Cafe Presse, and I'm pretty sure, close to the soon-to-be-opened Cupcake Royale new location. I think Capitol Hill is turning into a little gourmet grotto.

A real cheese shop - a la the cheese shop I would hit in the Marina after acupuncture in San Francisco - is going to be a very excellent addition in Cap Hill, and by extension, my life. Currently, the best cheese selection is at Whole Foods in Eastlake. Cosa Bella in Wallingford was good, but limited, and now that they've changed owners, I haven't been back since the close out sale. QFC and Trader Joe's have doable, but not inspirational selections.

And now for the not so good.

Thai Siam closed. I think many of us have a go to Thai place, and Siam was mine. The people were always friendly, the food was always dependable and delicious. I bought takeout from Siam the night I decided to live at the Park Rose Terrace and in Cap Hill, and I've picked up take out after each move in Cap Hill. Good food memories. Farewell.

PS - Jan, you have to visit, and soon. Mollie Moon's has delicious salted licorice ice cream!

]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.280 2009-04-22T02:46:38Z 2009-04-22T01:46:54Z
I always think that Easter is a holiday worth celebrating. Strip out the religious overtones, and Easter is just plain fun. Easter eggs, giant bunnies, candy, and of course, an excuse to cook a pork-themed dinner. In the Olhava family...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org I always think that Easter is a holiday worth celebrating. Strip out the religious overtones, and Easter is just plain fun. Easter eggs, giant bunnies, candy, and of course, an excuse to cook a pork-themed dinner.

In the Olhava family tradition, Easter is also a holiday of potential disasters. Two years ago, the oven caught on fire. There were a bunch of years of wine-fueled Olhava cousin Saturday night Easter rib-fests, with the hangovers to prove it. Suddenly, the traditional American Polish breakfast of Polish sausage, hard-boiled eggs and coffee cake makes sense. My brother once threw up all over my cousin (so sorry to have been at Sunday school and missed that spectacle). And last year, my nephew had a complete meltdown, because he really, really wanted to make pie crust with his Aunt Schelley, and by the time he got home, the crust was already chilling in the fridge. Regardless, I'm always game for Easter. It's a tradition.

Invites went out, six brave souls arrived, and Easter dinner happened sans disaster.

Of course, we started with appetizers. I should note, you may get hungry and/or feel slightly full while reading this. I almost always miscalculate food portions, and Easter dinner was a perfect example of too much food. Alas. I made miniature crab cakes and artichoke heart and olive dip. Hilary brought a very excellent cheese ball (recipe courtesy of a now defunct Phoenix restaurant) and Gavin and Elaine brought the always popular spinach dip. Plus wine and champagne, because really, it's a necessity.





Richard was kind enough to carve the ham, glazed with a honey-thyme sauce. A number of dishes accompanied: potatoes au gratin with arugula, spinach and bacon, spanish tortilla (plus a bottle of chalupa sauce, both thanks to Tracy), artichoke hearts poached in lemon and olive oil, lemon asparagus salad, cauliflower and broccoli with some delicious cheese (a la Gavin and Elaine), and dinner rolls. Whew.



Richard labored on a very delicious lemon tart, even cooking the lemons that decorated the tart! I contributed a raspberry chiffon pie, and in a moment of self-congratulations, should say that the crust was one of the best I've ever made: flaky, flaky, flaky.

Lessons learned. First, a big meal, plus wine and champagne, requires time to digest. I should have started dinner about two hours earlier. Second, every single food on the table was on the rich end. A simple, straightforward, non-olive oil/cheese/high-in-fat component would have been a nice swap for something else on the table. But really, there were no complaints.

And finally, leftovers. I'm writing this entry about a week later, and still have a few leftovers to deal with. After a few repeats of the Easter meal, I couldn't take it. So, I chopped up the asparagus and artichoke hearts, sauteed in the olive oil and lemon dressing used in the asparagus salad and added to pasta, along with some parmesan and a few squirts of lemon (I later added spinach, and then later, sausage). Sadly, the potatoes will probably not make it...they're just too rich for another meal. As for the ham, I made a few sandwiches, and later, turned more into a very excellent quiche (I had to do something with the extra pie crust). I don't have a huge amount left, but don't want to waste it. Meaning, it will go in the freezer and at some point, I'll be inspired and use up the rest.

A few final images. First, the bar, ready to go before anyone arrived. I love the bar. My love for the bar is only eclipsed by my love for the new kitchen table, which is all stretched out, covered in food and ready for guests to sit, dine, drink wine and enjoy conversation.





]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.279 2009-04-19T17:19:22Z 2009-04-19T18:11:32Z
The blogging has been a bit sparse in 2009, and for once, I have a good excuse. Two words: Battlestar Galactica. Yes, I've been sucked into the geekdom that is the BSG university. Free time is spent not only working...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org The blogging has been a bit sparse in 2009, and for once, I have a good excuse. Two words: Battlestar Galactica. Yes, I've been sucked into the geekdom that is the BSG university. Free time is spent not only working my way through the episodes (thank goodness for the punctuality of Netflix), but reading up on the shows, pondering the plot twists and turns, the what-ifs, the theological and moral messages woven so brilliantly into every episode.

Now, just because I've been eyes glued to the TV does not mean that I have not been cooking and eating (although, the alcohol consumption on board the Galactica and surrounding civilian ships is fairly impressive, the food they eat is barely mentioned or considered, except for one crucial story arc. Moving on). I'm saving a few things for their own entries, but thought that I'd cover some topics:

Crispy Tacos. I am so in love with Smitten Kitchen. Her recipes are rock solid, her writing is fabulous and pictures are beautiful. I've made the crispy black bean tacos with slaw and feta cheese approximately a dozen times, and am still not bored. If the weather doesn't feel like bbq today, it's tacos for me. Speaking of tacos...

Rancho Bravo: Capitol Hill now has a taqueria, Rancho Brav. Woo-hoo! Originally a taco truck in Wallingford (tasty food in those taco trucks, as I've discovered since moving to Seattle), they've set up shop in a former KFC. Just about as good as Bay Area taquerias, plus with the added bonus of the soullessness of the former KFC as the taqueria. I'm eager to see how they morph and evolve and become even better.

Vietnamese Sandwiches: After hearing people rave about Saigon Deli in the International District, I finally gave it a try. Wow - the best Vietnamese sandwich I have ever had. Light fluffy bread, a generous helping of pickled vegetables and the meat, oh soo tasty. I have always loved the sandwiches, but Saigon Deli has raised the bar to a whole new level.

Pork and Vegas: I spent a February weekend in warm Las Vegas, visiting Adam and Aimee and their three kids (two more and they have a basketball team!) Somehow, I succeeded in eating some variant of pork with every meal: Adam grilled ribs for dinner (plus bacon in the beans and corn casserole), bacon both mornings for breakfast, pork leftovers for lunch, and I just couldn't resist the spicy shredded pork taco from Rubio's. I've been to Vegas at least a dozen times in the past 10+ years, but this was the first time that I didn't go for work. Except for seeing the hotel skyline - which, from a distance, looks a lot like the skyscrapers of every major American city, only those skyscrapers aren't filled with offices and condos, rather, hotel rooms - I barely knew that I was in Vegas. No crazy days filled with too many meetings in the LVCC, no presentations to stress over, no client/press events, no hangovers. It was really, really nice. Oh, and worth mentioning: Red Rock Canyon is exceptionally beautiful. I highly recommend. And Retro Cupcakes - honey and peanut butter, yum! Finally, I'm awarding Aimee with the best hostess ever prize: she actually emailed me before my visit asking for my breakfast food preferences!

St. Patrick's Day: Mom and Dad came to visit the weekend before St. Patrick's Day, and since it was the season, I decided to make corned beef. Elise at Simply Recipes wrote about baked corned beef, so I gave it a try. The corned beef wasn't bad, and the recipe for caramelized onions and cabbage absolutely rocked, but there is a reason most recipes call for boiling corned beef.

Finally, the weather. I'm not going to lie, and the following statement probably doesn't surprise you: this has been another long Seattle winter. Cold, rain and more snow than I ever expected in the Emerald City. Luckily, the 2008 snowpocalypse hasn't quite repeated in 2009 (although we still have November and December 2009), but there have been plenty of "oh my goodness, more snow" moments. Like when it started snowing about 2 minutes into my 15-minute walk to a bar to celebrate Pete's birthday, and I had to wait in line in the snow for another 10 minutes to get in (I still can't figure out why they didn't let me, a girl, into the *gay* bar). I walked in, found Pete, and he laughed and told me that I looked like a drowned rat. I then spent 5 minutes in the bathroom drying my hair with paper towels. (Pete was properly punished for that comment with a wicked hangover the next day). Or the St. Paddy's Day Dash: nothing really spices up a run more than running in a combination of snow, sleet and driving rain. Or, the Friday morning just a few weeks ago when I left my house at 6 for a run, and was greeted by cars dusted in a layer of snow. That was the most terrifying, when I did the math and realized that boot camp was starting in 6 short days. (First boot camp run: on mud-covered trails, in the rain). But, spring is now here, sort of. The cherry blossoms are gorgeous (check out this link for pictures of cherry blossoms in my neighborhood), flowers are blooming, the Mariners are playing, sunglasses are now worn more often, and I've been opening windows, sitting on my little balcony and renewed my spring relationship with Claritin. Yep, summer is almost here.


]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.278 2009-03-29T20:36:34Z 2009-03-29T21:00:00Z
Three years ago, I packed up my San Francisco apartment (when I say "I", I actually mean professional movers), put Lolita on a big strapping car carrier truck and said goodbye to friends and Hayes Valley. Hello Seattle, rain and...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org Three years ago, I packed up my San Francisco apartment (when I say "I", I actually mean professional movers), put Lolita on a big strapping car carrier truck and said goodbye to friends and Hayes Valley. Hello Seattle, rain and snow, Capitol Hill, the Park Rose Terrace and Club Shag at the Vertigo, and the Big M.

You all know that I'm not the most sentimental person ever, so to mark the anniversary I decided to write up some fun facts about the past 3 years (and if you bet that I'd last less than 3 years in Seattle/at the big M, you've lost):

• Bought my first home
• Learned how to paint
• Picked up running
• Realized that driving in a snowstorm is even scarier than I had ever imagined
• Survived boot camp and winter sports conditioning
• Learned how to install door stoppers
• Successfully cooked from Mastering the Art of French Cooking, twice
• Developed a taste for Manhattans, sidecars and Fran's sea salt caramels
• Starting shopping weekly at the Sunday Farmer's market
• Made friends with a few local bartenders
• Finally learned to eat broccoli
• Sharpened my bbq skills - I now grill a damn fine t-bone and popcorn (!)
• Developed a latte habit
• Got over my fear of frying food - mmmm, zucchini blossoms
• Now buy flowers for no. reason. whatsoever

About the big M: yes, I still have a job. That I like. Working with people who I think are pretty cool and super smart. Life is still good on that front.

Finally, two kitchen-themed pics for you: This morning, Pete installed my new kitchen light. The first is up close, the second also shows off the new table. Isn't it pretty?





]]> tag:musings.schelley.org,2009://1.277 2009-02-17T01:47:53Z 2009-02-18T04:24:36Z
Despite my best intentions, I just could not bring myself to attend the Stranger's annual Anti-Valentine's Day party. So, instead I stayed home and treated myself to gougeres, champagne and single girl salmon. Several years ago, I picked up Amanda...
Schelley Olhava http://musings.schelley.org Despite my best intentions, I just could not bring myself to attend the Stranger's annual Anti-Valentine's Day party. So, instead I stayed home and treated myself to gougeres, champagne and single girl salmon.

Several years ago, I picked up Amanda Hessers' very excellent Cooking for Mr. Latte, a compilation of her columns and recipes from the New York Times, beginning with her first date with "Mr. Latte", chronicling dating stories to engagement, and culminating in their wedding. One of my favorites, and a standby for years, is Single Girl Salmon, a recipe designed for one.

Cover lentils with water (I usually use French green, but only had red, which cook very fast), add a bay leaf and I always add a shallot, and bring to boil. When lentils are done, drain, salt and pepper generously, then fold in olive oil, fresh lemon juice and if you have it, white wine vinegar. Balsamic also works. This should be done to taste...I like mine tart, but that is just my taste, which if you read this blog, know it can be a bit off.

When the lentils are done, heat olive oil and saute a thinly sliced shallot until brown. Salt and pepper a piece of salmon. Center cut works best, and you should probably salt and pepper earlier and let the salmon sit at room temperature. I happen to live in an area that has access to a good supply of salmon, so for Saturday night, I bought a pretty piece of Coho. Once the shallots are done, remove, then cook the salmon, skin side down. Flip at some point and from here, cook to your tastes. I find undercooking preferable to overcooking; it continues to cook as it sits, and really, overcooked, dry salmon is an injustice to the mighty fish.

Note, the recipe provides a few more details, but I think that adjusting recipes for you is always acceptable and encouraged.

Plate the lentils, plate the salmon on top of the lentils, and then sprinkle with the browned shallot. If you have parsley, you can even sprinkle a few leaves on top.

And that was Valentine's Day.



PS: I am currently looking for a permanent kitchen partner, a sous chef if you may. Requirements: must be useful with a kitchen knife, must like eating and wine and football. Send recommendations my way. It would be nice to write about doubling the recipe on Valentine's Day in 2010.

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