musings.schelley.org

Note: This entry has nothing to do with food and wine and alcohol. It's about life. Although, the one roundabout allusion to cooking is well played.

My six-month subscription with eHarmony ends today. Despite the recent flood of messages from the uber-religious people with new matches (!) and offers of discount renewals (!), I'm ending my relationship with eHarmony. In fact, I'm ending my relationship with all online dating sites as of today. I took this vow when I turned 34, and stayed away for a year. Then, 35 hit me and I decided to try the online thing one last time. Obviously, six months later, it didn't work out.

Over the past ten years, I've dated many of the sites: Match, Yahoo! Personals, Nerve, Lovelab and others that I've forgotten, probably on purpose. It seems that my relationship with those sites mimics many real life relationships. A roller coaster of happy and sad, huge emotional investments that sometimes do, but often don't pay off, disappointment, rejection, broken promises. Second and third chances. Stories, mostly bad, with relatively few good ones.

Nothing would make me happier than to have a sous chef in my kitchen (food allusion!). But, the reality is, that despite my many-pronged efforts, mine is a solo life. In a twisted way, the end of online dating is a sad end; most practically, I'm cutting off an area that blatantly promises a bright and shiny future with the love of my life, only to be found on this site!

Before I become tempted once again by someone's story about meeting their significant other on an online site, I'll think about my history with the sites: a relationship of give and take, which by the end, consisted of me doing most of the giving and the dating site, most of the taking.

PS - For all of my blog readers, please no more advice. Trust me, I've taken your advice, repeatedly. If you want to help me, find me a date with someone who not only has a pulse, but can carry on a conversation, likes to drink and isn't a picky eater.